Week Two Story: Pegmalion
Pygmalion Book Cover |
Pegmalion, a professional painter, having experienced the wicked
nature of men, and, offended by the failings that nature gave the male heart,
lived alone without a husband or partner for her bed. For many years Peggy lived
this way, content to guard her heart from the failings of love and from misuse
by men until one day she could bear it no longer. Consumed by her loneliness
she began to paint.
At first, guided by her anguish, her painting made little
sense, but slowly it began to take form: a man. A man with broad shoulders to
bear the heavy weight of Peggy’s easels and large hands to help her move things
about the house. The man was tall, with long legs to cover the distance into
town to sell Peggy’s paintings and an easy smile to win over her customers. Looking
over her painting Peggy realized that she had truly created the perfect man and
her loneliness ebbed.
Everyday Peggy would stroke the painting, telling it her
secrets, imagining the lovely things he would say to her were he real. She
imagined a life with her painted man, where he would take on her burdens and
ease her stress. After many weeks a wish took up in her heart: for her painted
man to be real. Hearing this wish, even though it remained unspoken, Venus, the
goddess of love, took pity on the women and animated her would-be-lover.
The next morning Peggy awoke and began her day as usual. Looking
over her paintings, she set about the difficult process of binding them to take
to market. Stopping to stroke her painted man as usual, Peggy was horrified to
find that he was no longer there. The canvas still set aloft it’s easel but the
man once depicted inside it was gone. Just as panic was beginning to rise in
her a voice called out.
“Hello?” it called, deep and masculine. “Is there anyone
there?”
Spinning around quickly, Peggy was surprised to find someone
standing in her doorway. There he was: tall and dark headed, with broad
shoulders and an easy smile. Her painted man. Truly he was even more lovely in
real life and her heart sored with excitement because she would never again be
alone.
“Yes, hello!” Peggy called back. “it is me, the women who
painted you into existence.”
“Thank goodness.” The Painted Man replied, flashing her his
smile again. “I thought I would never find you.”
“Well now we have found each other!” Peggy said gleefully. “Hurry
and help me tie up these paintings and carry them into the market and we can
spend the afternoon together.”
The man’s smile faded.
“Not yet.” He decided, pacing toward the kitchen. “I want
something to eat and then a rest. You take the painting into town and perhaps
we will see each other this afternoon.”
“But wait!” Peggy called, surprised. “That’s why I’ve called
you here, to help me, to be my partner!”
“No.” The Painted Man corrected, helping himself to food. “You
asked for the man you Painted: Broad shouldered, large hands, an easy smile.
And here I am.”
Not knowing what else to say Peggy bound her own paintings
and went into town. Day in and Day out it went the same: Peggy would ask the
Painted Man for help around the house, for validation, for affection and always
his answer was the same: “You asked for the man you painted and here I am.”
While Peggy went to market each day the man entertained
himself, learning trades, languages, studying new subjects and eventually he
found he had no need for Peggy. The Painted Man accepted a job far away from Peggy
and, offended by the failings that nature gave the female heart, lived alone
without a wife or partner for his bed.
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Authors Note:
After reading the story of Pygmalion I was really struck by the way the women in the story is nothing but an object - he loves her for her beauty and it is her beauty, in the end, that he marries. I wanted to retell the story as more of a commentary on the way that we all tend to romanticize the opposite sex. Even Women do this! There is a tendency to fall in love not with people, but with the idea of what they can do to better your life. Hopefully I was able to convey that just a little but I've never done anything like this so it could have been a complete wash!
Ovid, and Tony Kline. Metamorphoses. Harvard University Press, 1994.
This story is really well written and creative! I liked that you pointed out in your author's note that both men and women can romanticize the opposite sex. It’s so true that often times we get so stuck on the idea of something that sometimes we can even miss out on the opportunities that are in front of us. Overall this was a well told and innovative story, and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda, your twist on the story is a super intriguing to read through. I like that you see an issue in the original story and decide to make your protagonist a female painter. Your vocabularies are beautiful and easy to read. Also, your sentences flow really well throughout the story as well as your descriptions of the Painted Man. You did a good job in writing this, thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda! This was a really good read! I agree with what Vy said before me about seeing an issue with the story and showing it with a different sex. I also wrote about Pygmalion but I just couldn't get past the creepiness of all of it so I'm glad that you could look past that and figure out something else that bothered you. Your twist ending was also nice because it's much more in line with the type of ending I was expecting from the original story. Keep up the good work and can't wait to read your next story!
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda!
ReplyDeleteWow, I really enjoyed this story! The image right at first really caught my attention. I never have read the original story before, and so I was curious to see what this story was about. After having read the story, I now realize that the image you chose was perfect! The image really ties it all together! The story itself was so great. I loved every bit of it - there was detail, dialogue that flowed really well, and I could image the whole story in my head. After reading your author's note, I had that "wow" moment set in as I realized the message you tried to convey. I don't really have any commentary on anything I would consider revising or changing, because this story was way too good! I wonder, however, how this story would play out in a more 21st century setting. Nonetheless, I caught myself loving every bit of this story! You did a wonderful job!
Amanda, I loved your story! I actually laughed when I got to the end. I understand that this is a sad story, but I found humor in the failed expectations of Peggy. As my mom has always said, “Pretty is as pretty does.” Peggy was basically describing a beautiful man servant. I’m sure that would be very convenient for her, but the man would surely be miserable. It’s hard to think of anything that could improve this story. How would you feel about the man from the painting getting a happy ending? I understand that his ending up alone made a nice circle back to Peggy at the start of the story, which I appreciate. Even if he ends up alone, I would’ve loved to hear about his success or finding happiness. It could’ve also been quite ironic if her man from the painting ended up with a male partner. He would have no woman to warm his bed, but maybe he could find better luck with the hearts of men than Peggy.
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda,
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was wow, I really do not like the story of Pygmalion, but then your story was really well done and critiqued the problems I have with the original. particularly that Pygmalion was only interested in her beauty and not in her individuality or in an actual emotional connection. It seems like poetic justice that the man ended up creating himself through education, which leads him to leave.
Hey there again Amanda! Dang you are a really good writer, well done! I really like what you did to change up the original story and feel like this does a good job showing your potential as a writer! I think you especially did well with your dialogue. That can be really hard to do sometimes (I had my share of troubles when I was writing my storybook) so that also shows how talented you are. Keep up the good work and keep writing :)
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda!! What a fun way to retell the story of Pygmalion. I love that you changed it from a male focus to female. I also really enjoyed reading your writing. Your style is incredible and you have such a way of making sure that the reader knows all of the details that they need. I can't wait to come back to your blog throughout the remainder of the semester to see what other works you post. Great job! :)
ReplyDeleteI really like the reversal of the male and female roles. The way you described the painting and included why those traits were added was great, it made it easy to understand a little about Peggy’s thoughts. I did not expect that twist, to be honest, but it made the story more entertaining. The ending was great, it sorts of alludes to the cycle continuing which is interesting. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDelete